For some reason likely related to beer, as I watched the game in the rain in a city known for the weekend as Perth, Perthtoria, Perth Elizabeth, Perthfontein or Durban East, I kept hearing an old nursery rhyme in my head:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King’s horses
And all the King’s men,
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
The scholars believe this a metaphor created during the Civil War of 1648 in England about a giant Royalist siege cannon in a Colchester church tower: Humpty Dumpty being the failed cannon, the wall the reign, the fall the defeat, and the army’s failure.
For me, Humpty is rugby in Australia, the wall is Wallaby fortunes of late, the cannon, the monarchical administrators of the game in Australia, and the horses and men are up to head coach Joe Schmidt to find, train, and use, to put Humpty together again.
This rugby civil war has raged for a couple of decades with no winners, but Schmidt is the latest general to cross the ditch to fight it on behalf of the powers that be.
Rugby is not war even if Perth became the City of Collisions as UFC 305 followed the Test match, replete with Pretoria’s own middleweight champion Dricus du Plessis being escorted to the cage by none other than star lock Eben Etzebeth and his best friend Siya Kolisi, who probably knows how to cut through noise to motivate a fellow. In a comic turn, as du Plessis submitted New Zealander Israel Adesanya by rear naked choke after using a tackle reminiscent of Pieter-Steph du Toit, and prowling the floor outside the cage with captain Kolisi, Etzebeth lost it, reenacting his manic aggressive pose last seen on these shores in Sydney in 2022 locked in an angry embrace with Wallaby skipper Allan Alaaatoa.
Eben Etzebeth is exactly the type of player the Wallabies need. (Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)
Pity the lonely and middle aged Western Australia security guard, who looked plenty beefy enough to handle the demands of taming the typical fight fan, but had not a chance at stopping the giant Springbok’s advance over the line, reminiscent of Wallaby second half maul defence the night before.
Schmidt is well aware he needs to find plough horses and soon to rebuild any kind of wall capable of repelling Argentina, New Zealand, England and Ireland this year, and mounting a serious challenge to the British and Irish Lions next, with any chance of making it deep into the 2027 Rugby World Cup knockout rounds resting on a hard and well-constructed pack.
Even with a more fluid Bok attack scheme, which scored a few good tries (and butchered at least six, including three in Perth) what the visitors really provided Schmidt, Laurie Fisher, Geoff Parling, and Mike Cron with most was a forward reckoning, a set piece yardstick, a gainline metric, and a real sense of how far off first place they are from one to eight.
Wallabies head coach Joe Schmidt and assistant Laurie Fischer will have got a real insight into where their side is eight months into their rebuild. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)
Brisbane’s first half and Perth’s second half provided the type of testing ground the Wallaby coaches would have craved, even if it was a rough experiment to take.
To complicate matters, Schmidt controlled his group test by not bringing any overseas forwards back: the best clubs in the world tend to have Aussies on roster who are big and long and tough enough to command big wages but the New Zealander wanted to first see how big his arsenal is at home.
The Horsemen:
Rob Valetini had nothing to prove. He is a proven gainline maker, power tackler, and has great hands and height in contact.
One of the key examinations a Bok pack gives an opponent is whether you can mix it up with them without being caught for infringing. Valetini moved forward to the big number six, loosely up against the Bok in best form (du Toit, no matter his Saffa nomenclature) and made 23 tackles across two matches without a penalty. Whilst he was quiet in the rematch (seven carries) his 15 carries in Brisbane were a highlight in an otherwise dismal day.
Rob Valetini and the Wallabies react after being beaten by the Springboks at Optus Stadium on August 17, 2024 in Perth. (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)
Lieutenant-Colonel Harry ‘Light-Horse’ Lee was a tenacious cavalry commander under General George Washington in the War of Independence, aggressive to the extreme in running down lost British infantry, but he was hard on his horses.
Harry Light-Horse Wilson knows no lower gear. Fresh from being a leading heavy carrier in Super Rugby Pacific for two years, even with a broken arm this season, he is behind only Ardie Savea, Pablo Matera, and du Toit in carries in this competition, is the Wallabies’ third-leading tackler (21) and has taken ten lineout throws.
The knock? Three penalties; all avoidable.
Still, Schmidt has preached work rate and an eight ready to carry over and over. He picked CJ Stander when he was Irish coach over more exciting candidates.
Carrying close to the ruck always, Stander made a remarkable 779 carries for Ireland in his first 50 Tests (16 carries per game on average) and made ten tackles a Test. A Schmidt offensive scheme depends on a Stander type horse.
The infamously detailed Schmidt will have a few notes for Wilson but will know they will not face a better or more dynamic tackle team.
Valetini and Wilson are two of the three-legged stool of big carriers so far: Lukhan Salakaia-Loto took on the rugged Bok defence 19 times and had some success in attracting a second tackler, albeit also attracting the referee’s attention a couple too many times and missing tackles.
Lukhan Salakaia-Loto provided some grunt for the Wallabies against the Boks. (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)
Still, this Red-Rebel-Brumby triad looks ready to blast into the Pumas on both sides of the collision line, even if they toiled mightily to break the Bok line. Marika Koroibete in one match had more line breaks than all three big carriers had in two.
Nick Frost was knocked out of Perth selection but his 11-tackle and ruck activity in Brisbane may have helped his bid to play Devin Toner in the Schmidt sequel. He is fast for his height but the more relevant data was his willingness to climb in the cage with Kolisi and Etzebeth.
Fraser McReight was the biggest winner in the selection stakes: with him out, no credible on-ball operator emerged.
The bad news is after the firm of McReight, Valetini, Wilson, Frost and Salakaia-Loto have passed the bar, the next rung is a bit Humpty and Dumpty.
Slow Horses:
Hooker is not a strong position for the Wallabies at the moment. Even with the Bok lineout diluted (no Lood de Jager, Franco Mostert, RG Snyman, or Jean Kleyn, meaning novices ran things) it is good enough to give good feedback on the timing and aim of the call-feint-lift-throw matrix.
Josh Nasser put his hand up halfway, tentatively. The lineout still needs a lot of work, but the squall in Perth made it seem more like Bristol than Bloemfontein.
His work around the park, with 17 clean tackles, decent ruck impact, and a handful of strong carries helped his case.
Alaaatoa did not have his best brace of Tests but remains a solid pick for his general skill set and industry.
Sadly, Angus Bell is a cameo player recently, but he must have given Schmidt and Cron hope if he can get and stay healthy. If he can be compared to an Irish prop, it would be Taidgh Furlong for his ball skills and deceptive agility.
Angus Bell is one of the Wallabies’ most important players. (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)
Carlo Tizzano is not the second coming of Josh van der Flier, but his week-on-week improvement would have told his coaches not to give up on him. He showed plenty of motion but not much action in Queensland; back home he punched more at his weight. His 35 tackles against hard-running South Africans, having never faced them before, was both a victim of a tactic (the Bok coaches make fetchers tacklers after the bitter lesson of Wellington in 2011) and the best evidence of heart for Schmidt that exists. He nosed ahead of Luke Reimer for backup seven status and would relish a game which does not include the Bok cleaners who tend to knock walls down which have been rebuilt.
Like the unfortunate Jeremy Williams, Reimer needs a better sample size but suffered the same issue as Tizzano: their size was sampled on by the Boks like the little chops on the braai before the main course.
Zane Nonggorr had his woes but seemed to at least offer some hope. He will need to grow fast.
Broken Eggs:
Seru Uru, Isaac Kailea, Matt Faessler, and Angus Blyth would have imagined exactly what they did not want to show Schmidt.
They did precisely those things.
Uru looked befuddled until and after he was carded, Blyth was shown to be underpowered for his size, Kailea had no hope at scrum and could not shift bodies as easily as his gym stats would suggest he can, and Faessler was guessing, like a weekend warrior golfer licking his finger and not even knowing what it means.
The continued selection of Tom Hooper for Tests against top teams is a great mystery to all outside Australia. He might end up being a Scott Fardy type but the key word there is ‘might.’ He simply does not have a mighty mentality in dark alley brawls. A long beard with number two razor hair is recommended to look the part, but for the actual part: gym.
Can Joe Put Humpty Together?
Not without a better tight five.
The ratio of good to okay to bad is about 5:7:4 at the moment with only domestic-based players.
Locks are the easiest import: one long-limbed family with a first name surname will immediately make maul tries against Australia far harder. Add a certain giant who lives on the Atlantic coast of France and Humpty Dumpty is sitting pretty.
Props are a bit trickier, with some broader cultural trend in Australia away from the husky build towards slim-hipped hipsters.
The few that are created go to New Zealand to become All Blacks.
Harry Joneshttps://https://ift.tt/nyCH0Lb Joe Put Humpty Together? Why Schmidt’s Wallabies will benefit from Boks bashing
Post a Comment